“How important are informal supporters of women experiencing domestic violence?”: “Very” – a simple answer to a complicated question. The bottom line, in terms of statistics, is that if survivors disclose their situation to anyone, it will most likely be to informal supporters (friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues) rather than professionals.1 And this is true across the world, with research indicating that sometimes a disclosure to an informal supporter happens alongside a disclosure to a professional, but frequently this is not the case.2-5 In addition, it is not unusual for informal supporters to witness abusive behaviours, but commonly they are uncertain about what exactly it is that they are seeing, in particular, what it means, and what their role in the situation should be.6 ,7
Why are informal supporters important?
Survivors have been asked about the responses of the people around them, and have described a complete spectrum, from responses which probably saved their lives and have helped them in their recovery following an abusive relationship, through to responses which were actively abusive, in and of themselves.8-10 Though a rather mixed bag in terms of response, when informal supporters do respond well, their actions can buffer against health impacts for survivors, particularly mental health impacts such as depression, suicide attempts and post-traumatic stress disorder,11-13 and can be protective against further abuse.12 ,14 ,15
So, friends, family members, neighbours and colleagues are people who may be aware of the situation, whose input matters, who we might expect to respond in the best interests of survivors, but who don’t always ‘get it right’. But how realistic is that expectation of people who are confused by, enmeshed in, impacted by, and at risk of harm themselves within the situation?
What we wanted to find out
This prompted us to consider whether research had been carried out directly with this population who provide informal support – How much had they been consulted about their experiences? How were they being impacted and/or supported? What did they need in order to look after themselves AND better support the survivor?
So, we began to conduct research in this area to start answering some of these questions:
The first piece of research was a review of the existing literature16 pulling together all the relevant research. We didn’t find any studies which answered our questions directly, but we did find a few which indirectly highlighted how exposure to abusive events or hearing disclosures could impact on the physical health, emotional wellbeing, and safety of informal supporters. Using these findings as a basis, we then carried out an interview study with friends, relatives, neighbours and colleagues of survivors, and they described tolls of providing support which were multifaceted, intense, and often long-term. People frequently spoke about the physical health impacts and relationship impacts they had experienced, but by far the most common impacts they described were emotional ones, including: anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness, anger, frustration, fear, guilt and self-blame.17 Worryingly, several people also reported being on the receiving end of coercively controlling and manipulative behaviours by the perpetrator, and some had experienced direct physical violence.18
Our third piece of research looked at informal supporters’ use of the help available to them via domestic violence helplines. And we found that a really wide variety of informal supporters call, including relatives, friends, neighbours, flatmates, colleagues, bosses, and even relative strangers (for example, a sales assistant in a mobile phone shop who was helping a survivor to change her phone number). People called for a variety of reasons, and were prompted to do so by a range of triggers including: increased concerns about someone’s behaviour, a change in circumstances for the survivor, domestic violence storylines in television dramas, and feeling completely overwhelmed by the impacts they were experiencing. They were often uncertain about whether it was appropriate for them to use the helpline, and needed reassurance that their request for support or advice was legitimate. Once reassured, people explored with helpline staff whether they should be concerned, and how to begin conversations with survivors about what was happening. They also requested practical advice on refuge spaces, professional involvement, survivors’ rights and safety planning. But perhaps their biggest need was the opportunity to be heard, recognised, validated and affirmed, particularly where the situation felt hopeless, had been ongoing for years, or when they were the only person the survivor had told.
Having talked about what the helplines can offer to informal supporters and indicated that a range of people use them, it is also important to acknowledge that most of the informal supporters involved in our research haven’t known about organisations or professionals which they could approach for support, including whether specialist services have any remit to support them.
Promoting a community-oriented approach to domestic violence
So where do we go from here? Well, certainly a wider call for an informal supporter/community-oriented approach to domestic violence is necessary, and public campaigns recognising this by targeting informal supporters (like the one previously run in partnership between Bristol City Council, Avon & Somerset Police & Crime Commissioner and the University of Bristol) are a good start.19 Within abuse models, policies and guidelines, it is, of course, appropriate that the survivor remains central, and yet extension is needed to acknowledge and reflect the complexity and diversity around real-life situations, including additional victims and multiple perpetrators. For research, we also need to think beyond traditional ‘bystander’ work, which has tended to focus on people who may witness incidents but aren’t necessarily emotionally invested in a relationship with a survivor. Those more intimately connected with survivors face different and, frequently more challenging, dilemmas, emotions and impacts to navigate. Helping informal supporters to understand what they are noticing, why they might feel conflicted about taking action, and encouraging their use of appropriate services to gain information and support will ultimately benefit both informal supporters and survivors.
Further detail of this study is published in Safe, the domestic abuse quarterly Issue 60. Women’s Aid, 2017. Back issues available from: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/research-and-publications/safe/
This post was originally published on the Bristol Zero Tolerance website.
Loved Ones of Domestic Abuse (LODA): New local group in Bristol
LODA is a peer led support group offering:
- Reflecting and connecting with others in similar situations
- Learning more about the dynamics of abuse and trauma
- Practicing essential tools for self care
- Exploring ways to support those who are experiencing abuse
LODA is currently based in South Bristol however it is open to anyone living in the Bristol area. This group is open to all family members and friends of victims/survivors of domestic abuse regardless of gender.
For more information please contact Sally on 07568486947 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Crime Survey for England and Wales (2016) Compendium: Intimate Personal Violence and Partner Abuse: Sources of Support for Partner Abuse Victims. London: Office for National Statistics, 2016.
- Fanslow J, Robinson E. Help-seeking behaviors and reasons for help seeking reported by a representative sample of women victims of intimate partner violence in New Zealand. Journal of Interpersonal Violence2010;25(5):929-51.
- Parker G, Lee C. Violence and Abuse: An Assessment of Mid-Aged Australian Women’s Experiences. Australian Psychologist 2002;37(2):142-48.
- Ansara D, Hindin M. Formal and informal help-seeking associated with women’s and men’s experiences of intimate partner violence in Canada. Social Science & Medicine 2010;70(7):1011–18.
- Goodkind J, Gillum T, Bybee D, et al. The Impact of Family and Friends’ Reactions on the Well-Being of Women With Abusive Partners. Violence Against Women 2003;9(3):347-73.
- Latta R, Goodman L. Intervening in Partner Violence Against Women: Grounded Theory Exploration of Informal Network Members’ Experiences. The Counselling Psychologist 2011;39(7):973-1023.
- Latta R. Struggling to define my role: The experience of network members who intervened in intimate partner violence. Boston College, US, 2008.
- Trotter J, Allen N. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Domestic Violence Survivors’ Experiences with Their Informal Social Networks. American Journal of Community Psychology 2009;43:221-31.
- Bosch K, Bergen M. The Influence of Supportive and Nonsupportive Persons in Helping Rural Women in Abusive Partner Relationships Become Free from Abuse. Journal of Family Violence 2006;21(5):311-20.
- Belknap J, Melton H, J D, et al. The levels and roles of social and institutional support reported by survivors of intimate partner abuse. Feminist Criminology 2009;4(4):377-402.
- Coker A, Smith P, Thompson M, et al. Social Support Protects against the Negative Effects of Partner Violence on Mental Health. Journal of women’s health & gender-based medicine 2002;11(5):465-76.
- Fry P, Barker L. Quality of relationships and structural properties of social support networks of female survivors of abuse. Genet Soc Gen Psychol Monogr 2002;128(2):139-63.
- Waldrop A, Resick P. Coping among adult female victims of domestic violence. Journal of Family Violence2004;19:291-302.
- Plazaola-Castano J, Ruiz-Perez I, Montero-Pinar M. The protective role of social support and intimate partner violence. Gaceta Sanitaria 2008;22(6):527-33.
- Roberts A, Schenkman Roberts B. Ending Intimate Abuse: Practical Guidance and Survival Strategies. New York, USA: Oxford University Press, 2005.
- Gregory A, Williamson E, Feder G. The impact on informal supporters of domestic violence survivors: A systematic literature review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse 2016. http://tva.sagepub.com/content/early/2016/04/08/1524838016641919.full.pdf+html (accessed 27_04_2016).
- Gregory A, Feder G, Taket A, et al. Qualitative study to explore the health and well-being impacts on adults providing informal support to female domestic violence survivors. BMJ Open 2017; 7.
- Gregory A. ‘The edge to him was really, really nasty’: abusive tactics used against informal supporters of domestic violence survivors. Journal of Gender-Based Violence 2017;1(1):61-77.
- It might be nothing, but it could mean everything. 2015. https://www.thisisnotanexcuse.org/friends-and-family/ (accessed 07_12_2017).